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I Know What I'm Not

by Life Lessons

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    Physical copy of 07/01/16 release "I Know What I'm Not"

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1.
Reflecting 01:41
Selfishly state that I'm afraid to leave no longer confident you'll follow me Honestly, this is what it's like on the other side of apathy, reflecting nothing while you feel everything Honestly, apologies are nothing looking back won't change anything But this is not how you'd do things If I'm distant, I know I've been quiet but I'm busy digging through my head Trying to find what I made myself forget pick back up where we left or leave the past where it is Remember just enough to know how to forgive No matter how this ends tonight you won't forget How could you forget? If you even look at me the same again Selfishly state that I'm afraid to leave no longer sure that you care if I stay
2.
Say Pretend 03:18
Collect your bags, your clothes, your makeup forget the good things for the sake of making me feel like I'm made of stone What's so wrong that your first thought is I should leave? Am I so different from before that you expected more from me? Did you expect something more from me Did you see it in my eyes as you sat with me Did you hear it in my voice or in memories From back when it was easy to fall asleep? When we fight no one's the winner if I've said you're right you just don't remember I'm starting to think you say I’ve given up because you're giving up on me she said you're giving up on me Go home get some rest we'll talk when I clear my head or you could drive back instead we'll talk it out or as you say pretend We'll talk it out, we'll talk it out We'll talk when I clear my head or as you say pretend I want to leave but if I do then it's over when we're alone together we're alone but together
3.
Fault 02:29
I'll let you swim through my head like the smoke does if I can swim through your veins like the feeling of being drunk on a Tuesday afternoon but it's okay when I'm with you I feel okay when I'm with you Tiptoe in your bare feet past the spot where the air conditioner leaks End this conversation we're just straining our voices now end this conversation we're just losing our patience now Falling apart I haven't done it in months and I feel so much calmer now cause I can break my bones and know you're there Everyone gets lost sometimes but you know that you'll find me here you'll find me here It's hard to grasp that everyone around me wants to stop existing and I'm right there with them yeah we're scared but we're honest I bet you hate it being back in your old room above the garage on the steps with your clothes cause you know that what you had figured out lost all momentum with doubt if it feels worthless it is if it feels pointless it is
4.
Ivy 02:52
Did you find out if it was poison ivy? that mark under your chin you didn't know how it got there just a blemish on your perfect skin We never meant to let go we just liked to pretend that we're not scared of the future you're just as broken as I am and that comforts me in ways that you could never see This is not what I'm supposed to be and I'm not sure what you see in me you never tell me what you think you keep that to yourself so tell me what you want am I a knight in shining armor or a boy that doesn't leave you alone? I'll make the drive every day if I have to if you let me So while we lay in bed for the first time in a long time I know I'll ruin it again just shut your mouth and try to capture it All I can think is "I hope this is not the last time" in the past these moments have been too good to last let me forget I know I said I'm not coming back The seasons change here in seconds petals lose all their colors I'm just too tired to protest you changed in ways that I don't get but I'll learn to accept that you're not the shy girl I used to know If you're a flower and I'm a tree you'll never grow at the same place as me I just think while you live in the moment I never stop soak it in and enjoy it
5.
Sleep It Off 03:30
I'm sorry I was angry I had a mindset to defend getting upset with you without much cause 'cause I was jealous of your friends It felt right to leave when I doubted everything and when I did I felt defeat I knew I'd lost and I was lost and for the first time I felt like you'd lost interest skipping contacts in your phone list passing by my name cause I'm not someone that you miss You just had to make me miss you didn't you I just had to fall right back and give myself no time to think before all my emotions get the best of me I'm spitting out teeth gritted and worn to the point that I don't know what the point is now now I'm full of what ifs give me a second to change the subject to something I know I won't forget because when we talk I can feel discomfort in the vibes that we put off cut the tension with a knife and tell me if you think that it bleeds ' cause there are parts of me I don't want you to see no I don't want you to This is not the first time I have tried to reason with myself for the cowardly nights I spent wasted awake always thinking of things that I hate that I could've done different It's me it's always me it's always been me In my head this is what we're supposed to be and I'll accept that this is you if you accept that this is me sleep it off it wasn't love just a crutch make sure the door is shut
6.
I've been trapped under who I said I'd be for so long I got lost in always trying to be what I'm not I'm afraid that you want all that I'm not and you thought I'd change like I did before but I'm not the type to change anymore Only I could pick the flower then damn it if it doesn't die uproot the thing that I forgot to appreciate alive 'cause I can't hold it together when your tears start to melt their way through cracks in your makeup I know I'm not what you wanted and if I am then you don't act like you know that and I know that so we break down you don't deserve to have to worry about if I'll be there when you need me but you'll still hear me out don't you dare think I don't know how bad this hurts and don't you dare think I don't know who hurt who worse don't trade your guard up for me ever getting through to your head don't trade for problems and someone you'll wish you hated instead you'd be better off

credits

released July 1, 2016

All songs by Life Lessons.
Recorded at ABG Studios in Crown Point, IN.
Produced and engineered by Seth Henderson.
Artwork by Corey Purvis.

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Life Lessons Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Oklahoma Pop Punk


Life Lessons is:
Kaden Birdsong
Josh O'Dell
Andrew Wasson
Chris Lewis
Alex Akins

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